Praise the lord Season 11 is done.Thank you Simon Fuller for putting Jennifer Lopez’s ass out in the cold and trading it with Nicki Minaj’s booty.Randy has got some determination to still be here though.Ironically,he left Journey after 2 years.I’m not even kidding.Here’s a picture of him getting his groove and 1980s hair on.
Damn,why did he shave it all off and got glasses.I guess that’s what Samuel L. Jackson did as well.
Look at him rocking the 90s hair.
Man,where did it all go?
As infuriated I am when seeing or listening to an Australian talk,I guess Keith Urban’s alright.He needs to learn to button up though.When he doesn’t button up,I can see his Hawaiian-esque surfer Maori tribe shit tattoo underneath,and I get really confused.Because I’m not sure if he’s rocking the country look or the surfer look or the lumberjack look.I get the country look because he’s got some Bill Ray Cyrus Icky Breaky Heart shit going on up his hair,and the Maori tribe shit tattoo just puts him out in the limbo.
Oh god Mariah,loosen up gurl.She’s getting on my nerves for being too boring.This is the whole Jennifer Lopez shit thing all over again.Jennifer may be some hot mamacita on the panel,but she is boring as hell.She ruined Que Viva as well.I mean,the only thing that made Que Viva interesting is that awkward leftover sexual tension she has with Marc Anthony.But there ain’t no ex husband in every show of hers.And unfortunately,American Idol doens’t have enough chairs for Marc or P.Diddy.I wonder if they can bring Tom Mottola into this season’s American Idol.Man,shit be blowin up like bam bam.
These are the components that Nicki is made out of.30percent fabulous powder,40 percent amazballs hair dye and 30 percent fiercity.God,she’s callng the Turbanator Turb and Mushroom Mush.I want to change my name right now to something cool and fly to Louisiana for an audition so that she can address me with an endearing nickname.
Aw snap,Mariah is giving Nicki the nasty eye for being fabulous and interesting.It’s not her fault that you aren’t her.From the words of almighty Kanye West (he wrote the song,I ain’t gon give the credits to Keri Hilson) “Don’t hate her cos she beautiful.” And does anyone else notice that Mariah is another Tyra Banks? I mean,I love Tyra,and I don’t hate her for talking about herself most of the time because she’s like a mini Oprah to me.But damn,when Mariah does it,it just gets on my nerves.Oh that awkward ginger is talking about how he’s socially awkward and music is his outlet,that’s nice.And she just got dive right in and change the entire story into her story.Subsequently,a really odd image in my mind popped out.Initially,I imagined the awkward ginger to be walking in the snow with his lumberjack boots and being sad and alone and friendless.All of a sudden,his face morphs into Mariah’s inspirational face and she bursts into “Baby It’s Cold Outside”.That’s what happens when you change someone else’s focus story on you.
I hope these judges stay like how Paula and Simon did,because I can’t take anymore boring judges.Next thing you know,they might call in Clint Eastwood for judging.He’s probably going to deliver his deliberation with his eternal squinting.
Source:
http://uhso.wordpress.com/2013/01/26/my-monologue-when-watching-american-idol-12/